Overcome self-doubt

If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will.

-       Ed Mylett

I want to help you recognize self-doubt and how to overcome it.

Let’s establish what we’re talking about.

I’m not talking about the occasional worry or nervousness.

I’m talking about self-doubt. Self-doubt prevents you from making decisions, or moving forward, or enjoying life to its fullest.

Effective leadership begins with belief in yourself. “If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will.” – Ed Mylett. I heard Ed Mylett speak those words this morning while listening to his podcast (which I recommend).

And man, they struck a chord with me!

You may think you’ve got everyone fooled. That no one can see through you. But they can and they do. If you constantly doubt yourself, even if it’s in private, that shit gets noticed. People sense it. Self-doubt is like a bad vibe resonating outward, on display for the world to see.

You’re the guy that can’t make a decision. You’re the guy that asks other people to do what you’re not willing to do yourself. You’re the guy that puts more effort into being everyone’s buddy, rather than their leader. You’re the guy that never speaks in meetings. You’re the guy that control his temper or moods.

And the list goes on and on.

You know the people I’m talking about. You’ve seen them. Maybe you’re one of them.

So, what can you do about it? Is there any way to overcome self-doubt?

There is, but most people won’t do it. It’s hard. Damn hard.

Many of you didn’t receive positive reinforcement growing up. You didn’t have a childhood of perpetual praise and encouragement so that by the time you reached adulthood, you genuinely believed you could do anything.

In fact, many of us had just the opposite. That’s not an excuse, it’s a fact. It may not be your fault that your parents fucked you up, but it is absolutely your responsibility to overcome it.

Now the hard part…

Don’t hide behind your mean daddy, or drunk mommy, or your poor upbringing. Blah, blah, blah.

Discomfort sparks growth. Once you start to grow, you start to believe in yourself. It’s a perpetual motion approach that once you get it moving, it’s hard to stop.

Don’t worry about failing. Don’t worry about how you’ll look. Don’t worry about what other people will think.

Here are the three things you must do to overcome self-doubt:

• Embrace discomfort / risk failure: seek experiences, opportunities, and challenges that test you. Maybe that’s as simple as signing up to run a 5k race. Maybe it’s speaking in public. Maybe it’s a challenge that scares you. Learn that the world doesn’t end if you fail. In fact, it’s just the opposite.

• Keep the promises you make to yourself: I’m going to lose weight. I’m going to start eating better. I’m going to start exercising. I’m going to reach out to a loved one. I’m going to avoid that drink. You get the gist here… don’t lie to yourself. Keep your promises to yourself. Start small if you have to, but the world changes when you stop lying to yourself and keep your promises!

• Seek a specific challenge: Jesse Itzler calls this a Misogi – one monumental challenge or experience a year. The key to this is challenge. Something you’ve never done or maybe something you never pictured yourself doing. Running a Spartan race, running a marathon, or just running a 5k (assuming it would challenge you). Clearly, my passion is fitness/health related, but there are other options. Sign up for something like The Proving Ground with the 3 of 7 Project, a thing that tests you and holds you to a high standard.

Overcoming self-doubt is simple, but it is not easy. It can be a life-long pursuit. A road fraught with setbacks, failures, and pain. I can tell you from experience that having someone on the journey with you helps. Someone to push you and make you better.

Ultimately, overcoming self-doubt comes down to belief in yourself. When you believe in yourself, others will too! You can do it!

I can help you, but it starts with you. You’re the one that must click that button to start the journey.

Start.

Your effort, your choice, your life!

David Odle is an ACE Certified Personal Trainer, consultant, and author. He spent seven years in the military, primarily in the U.S. Marine Corps. He is a Spartan Race competitor, an avid fitness fan, and a 5k enthusiast. David's mission is to help people transform into better versions of themselves by tapping into their dormant capability. If you want David’s help, please visit www.davidodle.com.